What the hell? Kim Kardashian was doing such a great job convincing us with her recent cleavage shots that there’s more to her than just a big fat ass stuffed into various tight pants. So why now does she decide to cover up the goods? Her management team must think that we’re getting off topic and are going to do something big to get us focussed back on her posterior. I’m excited and a little frightened to find out what they have planned. I’ll keep you posted.

I don’t know why I’m posting these pictures of Cameron Diaz on the set of one of her new movies, the pictures aren’t spectacular or anything, I guess I’m just tired. Although, she is showing off her sexy legs in that little dress or maybe I just like them because I feel like I’m doing something I shouldn’t. Like when I hang out in the ladies changing room at Wal Mart with one of those little dentist mirrors eating ice cream sandwiches, I know it’s a bad idea but those things are just delicious.

Here’s Whitney Port making sexy faces in Miami the other day wearing a sweet little summer skirt. I know, who gives a crap right? Well, I do and I make the rules around here so tough luck. Besides, the girl is pretty hot and she’s got those great long legs that would look incredible wrapped around my head. I don’t mean that in a sexual way, I just think that they would be nice and warm on my skin like a really sexy scarf. What?

Here’s poor little Rachel Bilson walking the streets the other day like a sad little puppy in homeless man’s sweater. Cheer up princess, I know you’re still seeing that douche from Star Wars and well, those other Star Wars, but things will get better. If you need someone to talk to or you want someone to come over and rub your feet, I’m your man. Of course when I say feet I mean boobs, but it’s the thought that counts. Call me.

Has anyone ever seen a bad picture of Marisa Miller? I can’t imagine one exist, they must be so rare that it’s possible they’re quite valuable. Like old baseball cards. The ones next to her boyfriend don’t count. Here she is at some pre or post Oscar party the other night looking like Marisa Miller… Hotter than a ho’s crotch. I hate when chicks blow kisses to the camera, but I think I just figured out why photographers ask them to do it, it squishes their cleavage together. Could that be it? Brilliant.

I’ve been known to occasionally put up pictures of obscure European celebrities hanging out in their tiny European bikinis, this is one of those moments. Here’s Italian(?) hottie/actress Maria Belen Rodriguez Cozzani giving herself a suntan rub down in her little black bathing suit on the beach. So hot, I especially like her cheesy stripper butterfly tattoo, it reminds me of my mom. I have no clue who this chick is, but I like what I’m seeing. Her name is a bit of a mouthful, but so is her…. You know the rest.

I don’t know how old Kelly Ripa is now, I know she’s got a team of kids somewhere, but she still looks so damn good. Here she outside the Late Night With David Letterman studios showing off her MILF body. I like it. I think we should have a playdate sometime, I’m sure I could hire a midget to play my kid so we can get together at Chuck E Cheese or something. I’ll make sure to keep the little guy far enough away so she won’t be able to tell. I think it will work.

Here’s Britney Spears out doing some shopping the other day, double fisting a couple of beverages. I like chicks who double fist, but coffee and water aren’t the drinks I’m looking for. That wasn’t the point of this post so let’s just drop it. What’s important is that she decided to wear a bra to cover up her sad nipples, and her boobs actually look pretty damn good. I just wish she wasn’t wearing so much clothing. A couple of wine coolers would take care of that.

Lindsay Lohan is still in Europe doing what the Europeans do best, wearing leather pants and looking bitchy. Here she is out it France somewhere prancing around town in her tight little leather leggings and jacket looking like she owns the place. Who’s paying for this trip? She’s been there for like a month, she has no money coming in, something’s up. I bet there’s a rich old dude somewhere pulling the strings. Bastard.

I wasn’t going to post these pictures of the mom from the TV show Modern Family Julie Bowen running around in her bikini on the beach, but then I figured why the hell not? She’s a celebrity, she’s in a bikini and that’s pretty much my business. Right? Then I got a good look at them and regretted it instantly. Someone should be editing this crap.